HIRE ME TO SPEAK
HIRE ME TO SPEAK
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World-class, cutting-edge gobbledygook

I write about strategies to turn fans into customers and customers into fans. I also share ways to use real-time strategies to spread ideas, influence minds, and build business.

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Worst Practices  |  writing  |  copywriting

Yesterday I sent out a tweet "Gobbledygook alert!!" pointing to the web site of Ossk Interactive, which has this gem on the homepage.

Eossklog

"We’re dedicated to providing results oriented, cost efficient solutions for customer outreach by employing existing and proprietary technologies that maximize exposure and obtain a leadership position in your market through the use of E-Ossk, our interactive digital outreach system."

I asked my Twitter followers "What does this company do?" And I was surprised at the number of responses. Some clever, some cynical, and some helpful. (Some even tried to guess what the company does.)

In the helpful category, Elge Premeau points us to another homepage, this one from Blackwater.

Bwwlog

"Blackwater Worldwide efficiently and effectively integrates a wide range of resources and core competencies to provide unique and timely solutions that exceed our customers' stated needs and expectations.

We are guided by integrity, innovation, and a desire for a safer world. Blackwater Worldwide professionals leverage state-of-the-art training facilities, professional program management teams, and innovative manufacturing and production capabilities to deliver world-class, customer-driven solutions.

Our corporate leadership and dedicated family of exceptional employees adhere to essential core values- chief among these are integrity, innovation,excellence, respect, accountability, and teamwork."

Now, I'm not saying that the language used by Blackwater and Ossk Interactive is incorrect. The rule is that you should write using the language that your buyer personas use. So it might very well be that these sites are well written. Since I'm not the buyer persona, I wouldn't know. Possibly their potential customers react positively to the writing. Does it really matter that I do not understand?

Amanda helpfully points us to a post from Hall Web Services 9 Out of 10 Small Businesses Do Not Say What They Actually Do

Got any examples of world-class, cutting-edge, gobbledygook to share?

For a longer discussion about writing and language, please take a look at my free ebook The Gobbledygook Manifesto
Gmman

Some great additional analysis from Bill Hunt in his post Public Relations, Nonsense and Gobbldygook. Real best-of-breed stuff here!

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